Just a few things that I think would have been helpful for my parents to hear way back in the 1990’s!
1 – Sometimes your kid will say, “you aren’t my real parents!” simply because they know it gets to you.
2 – There is no shame in bringing in reinforcements. This does not mean that you have failed as an adoptive parent. It shows that you understand the complexities of being an adoptive parent.
3 – One day, your kid’s adoption issues will blindside you. It’s not going to be fun.
4 – If you did everything the books told you to do to help your child become a well adjusted adopted kid, and then they still have a seemingly irrational emotional breakdown: 1.Don’t blame yourself. 2. Hope is not lost! Simply, the road has turned in to mountainous terrain.
5 – Sometime between biological parents and you, your child picked up some baggage. You couldn’t prevent them from picking it up. You can’t take the baggage away. You can help unpack to lighten the load.
Bonus: It’s all worth it.